Rain:90: All My Life

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Author Notes

People ask me the same thing ALL the time: “Have you REALLY always been like this?” The question is always asked in such a way that implies it’s completely unbelievable and impossible that someone could have inherently always known they were in the wrong body (nevermind that this is actually documented as being the statistical norm for transgendered individuals). I know it’s not intended to be offensive (most of the time), but it can still come off as harsh and/or rude.

In Gavin’s case (as well as the case of many who ask this question), he’s never known Rain to be anything other than Ryan. It’s hard to swallow. How could people hide something so important to them? But don’t we ALL have something to hide because we’re afraid it might hurt others… or ourselves? 

And if you say “no” to that, you’re only proving my point…

Oh, and first ever mention of Rain’s dad… 

Whew. Heavy page followed by heavy commentary. For all it matters, Rain is pretty slick at rapidly changing the subject if things start to get uncomfortable for her.


Okay... now. I really just need to know one thing...
Have you really always been like this like your aunt said?
Pretty much. It's the first thing I remember in my life...
I wanna be a mommy, like you!
Then I'll be a girl too!
I was only 4, but my family's reactions were enough for me to realize I shouldn't talk about this with people...
My brother and sister laughed at me. My mom insisted it was a phase. And my dad...
Hey, is this that model I got you?
Wait? What?
The Mad GigaKaizer X model here. Remember? Your 12th birthday?
Just before you moved?

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